Now
scroll down to access some top retirement humour & enjoy !
Something to think
about
"No nursing home for me! I'm checking into the Holiday
Inn"....With the average cost for a nursing home
per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we
get old and feeble.
I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday
Inn.
For a combined long-term stay discount and senior discount,
it's $49.23 per night.
That leaves $138.77 a day for:
1.. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner in any restaurant I want,
or room service.
2.. Laundry, gratuities, and special TV movies.Plus, they
provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer,
dryer, etc.
Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free
shampoo and soap.
They treat you like a customer, not a patient.
$5.00 worth of tips a day will have the entire staff scrambling
to help you.
There is a city bus stop out front, and seniors ride free.
The handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a
decent limp).
To meet other nice people, call a church bus on Sundays.
For a change of scenery, take the airport shuttle bus
and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.
While you're at the airport, fly somewhere.Otherwise,
the cash keeps building up.
It takes months to get into decent nursing homes.
Holiday Inn will take your reservation today.
And you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move
from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city.
Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there, too.
TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress
replaced? No problem.
They fix everything and apologize for the inconvenience.
The Inn has a night security person and daily room service.
The maid checks if you are OK. If not, they will call
the undertaker or an ambulance.
If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the
hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the
rest of your life.
And no worries about visits from family.
They will always be glad to find you, and probably check
in for a few days mini-vacation.
The grandkids can use the pool.
What more can you ask for?
So, when I reach the golden age I'll face it with a grin.
Just forward All my emails to the Holiday Inn!"
Upon telling this story at a dinner with friends and too
much red wine, we came up with even more benefits the
Holiday Inn provides to retirees:
Most standard rooms have coffeemakers, reclining chairs,
and satellite TV-all you need to enjoy a cozy afternoon.
After a movie and a good nap, you can check on your children
(free Local phone calls), then take a stroll to the lounge
or restaurant where you Meet new and exotic people every
day.
Many Holiday Inns even feature live entertainment on the
weekends.
Often they have special offers, too, like the Kids Eat
Free Program. You can invite your grandkids over after
school to have a free dinner with you. Just tell them
not to bring more than three friends.
Pick a Holiday Inn where they allow pets, and your best
friend can keep You company as well.
If you want to travel, but are a bit skittish about unfamiliar
surroundings, in a Holiday Inn you'll always feel at home
because wherever you go, the rooms all look the same.
And if you're getting a little absent-minded in your old
days, you never have to worry about not finding your room-your
electronic key fits only one door and the helpful bellman
or desk clerk is on duty 24/7.
Being perma-skeptics, we called a Holiday Inn to check
this story out-and are happy to report that they were
positively giddy at the idea of us checking in for a year
or more. They even offered to negotiate the rate (we could
have easily knocked them down to $40 a night!).
See you at the Inn!
Agematch.com
- the best and largest dating club for the young and old!
Free to place a profile and read tens of thousands of active profiles.
Experience the wonderful on-line dating now!
Retirement & old
age jokes
Old
age jokes
Joke
Zone
Link
to us | Other useful Links
Funny.co.uk
- The UK's premier comedy site, with the latest news, articles and
features, plus jokes, games and more.
Humor
Planet
Jokers
Masquerade - online retailer
specialising in the supply of fancy dress costumes and accessories.
Humor
in posters. - Bring joy to your
home. Amazing Posters of Humor
GET YOUR JOKE RESOURCE LISTED ABOVE
If you would like to be added, just copy and paste the following HTML
code into your desired webpage code. Then contact
us to let us know. We will will then add your related link &
description to our retirement jokes site and acknowledge with-out
delay.
| <p><a
href="http://www.mabels.org.uk/retirement-jokes.htm">Retirement
jokes from Mabels . Here you will find a selection of the
best retirement jokes, quotes, poems,sayings & speeches as
well as great retirement & nostalgic gift ideas.</a></p> |
Other
leisure pages : Gardening
, Music/Videos , Reading
, Pets , Hobbies
, Travel , Sport
,
Competitions
Can't find what you're looking for here? Try a search:
|
Top of Page
/ Home
|
Please
visit us again..More Retirement jokes & Retirement quotes
coming shortly.
Thank
you |
Latest News