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Retirement jokes & Sayings

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FOR ALL THOSE BORN BEFORE 1945

 

We were born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods,
xerox, contact lenses, frisbees and the PILL.

 

We were before radar, credit cards, split atoms, lazer beams, and
ball-point pens.

 

Before tights, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric blankets,
air conditioners, drip-dry clothes--and before man walked on the moon.

 

We got married first --and then lived together. How quaint can you be?

 

In our time, closets were for clothes, not for "coming out of".

 

Bunnies were small rabbits and rabbits were not Volkswagons.

 

Designer jeans were scheming girls named Jean or Jeanne;
and having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with our cousins.

 

We thought fast food was what you ate during Lent; and Outer Space
was the back of the Riviera Theatre.

 

We were before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating,
dual careers, and computer marriages.

 

We were before day-care centres, group therapy and nursing homes.

 

We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric typewriters, artificial hearts, word-processors, yoghurt, and guys wearing earrings.

 

For us, time-sharing meant togetherness-- not computers or apartments;
a "chip" meant a piece of wood; hardware meant hardware,
and software wasn't even a word!

 

In 1940, "Made in Japan" meant JUNK and the term "making out" referred
to how you did on your exam.

 

Pizzas, "MacDonald's" and instant coffee were unheard of.

 

In our day, cigarette smoking was fashionable. GRASS was mowed.
COKE was a cold drink. POT was something you cooked in.
ROCK MUSIC was a grandmother's lullaby and
AIDS were helpers in the Principal's office.
We were certainly not before the difference between the sexes
was discovered, but we were surely before the sex change;
we made do with what we had.

 

And we were the last generation that was so dumb as to think
you needed a husband to have a baby.

 

NO WONDER WE ARE SO CONFUSED
AND THERE IS SUCH A GENERATION GAP TODAY!

 

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